Today I went to the newspaper stand at Jurong East station after soccer training. I took out 2 bucks and grabbed a copy of 8 Days magazine, just like everyweek. I sat down and waited for the train. Meanwhile browsing through it.Then, an camera printer's advertisement caught my eye. It is just about 2 normal adults hugging each other. But once I looked closer, I can actually see that both of them are not just plain happy, but fortunate to have each other. The way the female closed her eyes and smiled while hugging tightly, saying that she had given all of her to the male. The male produced a wide smile only a blessed person will have. Though it is a simple photo, a lot of their feelings can be found. Looking at them, I knew how will one feel when being loved deeply.

But for me, I do not have the intention to let her know that I want to hug her that way too. Simply because I think that I may be hindering her colourful teenage life. Everyday, so many people seemed to wonder around her, making her feel secured and happy. My love for her will not make much of a difference, worst still, provide misery to her. I know that I can give her freedom in a relationship, I have the knowledge to do so, but love is no knowledge, but heart. Another thing is her life is quite busy, with friends, family and school. So to squeeze into her life and occupy some space for myself is purely selfish. I do not want to harm her. She had just ended a long term relationship of about maybe 2 years, so I assume that she is enjoying her single and free life now. As for me, I too ended a 14 months relationship this march. Yes, I admit that I enjoyed my current life very much, but had been feeling emotionally numb from then on. I liked my life to be filled with emotions, hence I had been looking for another partner. But due to the numbness, I cannot regenerate strong feelings again, no matter how close I got to.

Then she "appeared". She is in my class and Thank God she is in my PW group too. I managed to see different sides of her during meetings. For example, during last week's meeting at Kun Ming's house, we sat side by side, eating our chicken rice and watching Channel News Asia's Japan Hour. The moment snow appeared on television, her eyes glowed. She and I shared the same passion of travelling, and that is the point when I know I will bring her there if we are together one day, as mentioned in the previous post. I peeped into her eyes occastionally (I'm no stalker or pervet), still finding her as the cause of my fast heartbeat. I think I liked her.

These few days, I had been treasuring all those moments that we are near each other. In class, or in canteen, just like today. She is doing a good job at keeping herself happy, and I will be happy to see her happy too. I really appreciate the attention that she had given me. Thank You!

Continue to be happy =D